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When I Die, I Am Going To Haunt The Fuck Out Of You People

When I Die, I Am Going To Haunt The Fuck Out Of You People

Price: $19.00


For as long as you can remember, your life has been a constant stream of insults, condescension, and humiliation at the hands of those people. Well, you're sick of it.

You may be too cowardly and weak to do anything about it in this lifetime, but you'll have your revenge just the same. After you die, you're going to come back as the scariest damn ghost they've ever seen, and you're going to spend your days haunting the fuck out of them all. 

Color: Black 

Fit: Your Onion tee is pre-shrunk 100% cotton, though some shrinkage after washing is possible.


Segway Company Owner Dies After Driving Segway Off Cliff

Segway Company Owner Dies After Driving Segway Off CliffJust like the countless innovators, explorers and fine people killed in a Frankensteinian way by their own inventions, the current owner of Segway—not Dean Kamen—died yesterday after he rode off a cliff and into a river in England.

Jimi Heselden, aged 62, was found at 11.40am yesterday by the River Wharfe in North Yorkshire, with his X2 Adventure (pictured) by his side. Police believe that it was just a freak accident, with nothing suspicious about the man worth $262m falling to his death.

It's particularly poignant as his company had only just purchased the Segway company in December 2009. He sounded like a really nice guy according to reports, a chap who left school at 15 to work in the mines, but was fortunate enough to develop some interesting-sounding defense systems which made him millions.

He was one of those rare philanthropists who had given away millions to charity but didn't like to talk about it—at least £23m ($36m) in the last few years alone, it's thought. [The Independent and The Daily Mail]

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